Baby Autumn Is Here!!

I have not updated this blog in a while!  Sorry, everyone!  Life just got very crazy with expecting our baby, working and keeping up with the rest of life.

Well, Autumn arrived October 5th at 8:40am!  WOOHOO!  She was just a tad bit early but only by 2 weeks.  She just surprised us, is all.  That morning around 2:00am I woke up because I had to pee and I felt a little leak happening.  I honestly thought I was just peeing a little.  I mean, c'mon, I'm super prego - I figured it was bound to happen.  So I jumped out of bed to avoid peeing in it and then came the water....LOTS of it.  So I said "Chris - Chris - wake up!  My water is breaking!"  Chris shot up out of bed and said "Alright!  Let's go!"  I started to panic and then could not stop shaking and when I panic because I'm genuinely scared, I whisper and other people need to whisper too haha so I looked at Chris and whispered "I'm freaking out, dude" and he said "It's okay.  You're going to be great and we're about to meet our baby.  Ok?"  "Ok."  "Alright, now let's go have that baby!"  I made my way to the bathroom because, even though my water was breaking, I still really had to pee haha  My other thought was "Okay - I can just go sit over the toilet and my water will finish breaking there and it won't get all over the car."  Wrong!  As soon as I stood back up because I thought it was over, another *splash*.  So I thought "okay, screw it, let's just get in the car."  We gathered up everything else we needed, packed up the car and rolled out.

I finally was able to get through to Labor & Delivery and let them know we were on our way.  I didn't start getting any real contractions until about halfway to the hospital.  They really weren't that bad.  Just felt like some light cramping.  I was sitting on a towel because I really didn't want to ruin our car.  I would check my sweatpants every now and then to see if they were getting really wet and - nothing.  So, again, I thought "hmm - it must be over."  NOPE haha as soon as I got out of the car at the ER entrance it was like my water was breaking all over again.  I looked at Chris and said "okay, apparently it was pointless to change my pants because I'm soaking these too.  It looks like I'm pissing myself."  When we walked into L&D we began to check-in and one of the nurses asked me "Are you Mrs. Tate?"  I said "yes."  She said "Okay, Mrs. Tate, we can't find your paperwork."  I laughed and said "Ohhhh, don't tell me that.  We filled everything out and nothing ever left the hospital."  She continued to look for my paperwork while another girl took Chris and I back to our room.  She cracked up when she saw my pants....it seriously looked like I had peed myself, y'all.  I left a cute little water trail on our way to the room.

We got to the delivery room and I got changed into my gown - but don't you worry - I made sure to leak even more water all over the floor.  :)  I got settled into bed and they checked my vitals and began asking a million questions while Chris went to go move the car from the ER parking.  One of the nurses came in to place my IV.  Now, let me tell you what, I have never been so close to involuntarily smacking a stranger out of sheer reaction to pain.  She could not get this IV placed to save her life and instead of just trying again she decided wiggling this big-ass needle around in my wrist was a better idea.  I was like "omg, omg, what the hell is going on?"  She said "Just trying to get it into the vein sweetie."  "This hurts a lot."  "Okay, got it."  My wrist proceeded to throb for the remainder of my stay - not exaggerating, y'all.  Well, once my IV was placed they hooked me up to the rest of the baby monitors.  They immediately noticed that after each contraction I was having, Autumn's heart rate would drop.  But it would come right back up so I figured it wasn't really a big deal.  The nurse just said "Hmm, that's not good but we'll keep an eye on her to make sure she doesn't do anything crazy on us."  They decided to have me lay on my left side to help circulation and that seemed to help Autumn at the time.  I was only 1cm dilated so they put me on a petocin drip to help get labor moving along.  When they noticed it was a regular thing with Autumn's heart rate dipping, they took me off of the petocin to make sure that wasn't contributing to things.

Then, it was time to meet with the anesthesiologist.  We discussed my epidural and the possible risks associated with it and all that.  He said (in a nutshell) "Okay I'm going to shove this thing in your back and it's possible I'll hit a nerve but the odds are astronomical"  He seriously said the odds were astronomical and I believed him...like a FOOL!  Haha  He left to go get everything and to place another woman's epidural before mine.  Chris and I used that time to pick through some movies and breathe through a few bigger contractions.  These were still not that bad but let me also point out that I used to have black out painful menstrual cramps before I ever started birth control sooooo this was still small potatoes.  He eventually came back to begin the fun that was my epidural placement.  They had me sit on the edge of the bed with the back of my gown open and a pillow hugged tight to me to help with contractions and to make me more comfortable as I would have to be hunched over while he placed it.  Chris sat behind us to watch the magic happen.  The doc injected some lidocaine into my back - that hurt for a brief moment.  Then he said "okay, I need you to sit as still as possible, now, and tell me if you start to feel any pain.  At all."  I felt some pressure and then just heard and felt some *click, click, click* and then all hell broke loose.  He kept hitting a nerve in my back that would send a shooting pain into my lower back.  I mean he hit it over and over and over again....for about 10 minutes.  In the midst of all this madness I began to have some pretty big contractions sooo that sucked.  Anyhoo, he eventually decided to try to place this thing higher up.  So, again with the lidocaine injections, some pressure, *click click click* and some more pain in the same place.  I started worrying I was just going to have to do this thing all natural.  He finally got it figured out and said "Okay, I think we're set.  Now I'm just going to give you a little bit of medicine through here to make you feel better and then we'll start numbing you."  I suddenly felt like I was getting very light and then I just busted out laughing.  He asked "you okay?"  I said "yeah I just feel kind of f***ed up, like, maybe I'm drunk"  hahaha it was ridiculous.

They got me set up in bed again and at first only my left side was getting numb.  They fixed me up with a pillow under my left side to, hopefully, make the anesthesia start moving to my right side.  I eventually stopped feeling my contractions and Chris and I decided we'd relax and watch a movie.  We both fell asleep.  The next thing I knew, I was waking up to 4 or 5 nurses hovering over me, talking a lot and moving me around.  The would roll me to one side, then the other, then raise one leg, then the other, check my dilation, roll me around - it was crazy.  I was having a hard time waking up enough to figure out what the crap was happening.  Chris had opened his eyes at this point to see what was going on but thought it was just the shift change happening and they were just coming in to do all the "formalities."  I actually thought the same thing too until they put an oxygen mask on my face.  That was about the time Chris realized something else was happening, too.  I immediately looked over at our monitors and noticed Autumn's heart rate was dipping and not coming back up - it just kept going down now.  One of the nurses leaned over, finally, and said "okay, sweetie, we're going to have to take you to the OR."  I started crying and just kept asking if my baby was going to be okay.  She kept saying "everything is going to be alright."  That was not answering my question.  Dr. Fujii came in real quick to tell me I was going to need a c-section because Autumn was not cooperating they way they needed her to cooperate in order to let me push.  They checked my dilation and I was only 1.5cm (this was 5 hours after they originally checked me.  Oye!).  The nurses told Chris to put these cute little pink scrubs on and they would come get him from our room.

They wheeled me down the hallway and into the OR.  I am COMPLETELY freaking out at this point because no one is actually telling me my daughter will be okay.  They just keep telling me that I'M going to be okay.  Ugh.  We got set up and the started pumping more and more anesthesia into me through my epidural until I'm basically numb from my ribs to my toes.  But not numb enough because as soon as they began they had to stop because I could feel way too much.  Excruciating pain.  After another minute and even more "feel good juice" they continued and it still hurt a lot but not nearly as much.  Eventually Chris was allowed to come in and I have never been so relieved and happy to see his face.  He was a wonderful distraction.  The anesthesiologist did a great job of just talking to us during the entire procedure and making sure I was as comfortable as possible.  He said "Okay, now you're going to feel a lot of pressure.  Like an elephant is sitting on your chest.  Okay?"  I said "Um...okay" and he could not have been more accurate.  I didn't know what they were doing but Chris told me later that 2 of the nurses put all of their weight on my ribs to push Autumn out.  As they were letting up I heard the most beautiful sound in the world - my baby's first cries.  :)  I immediately started crying all over again and looked at Chris and just couldn't stop smiling and thanking God our baby was okay.  I noticed very shortly my ribs were throbbing and I felt like I'd been hit by a truck.  It was such a crazy several minutes because I was in so much freakin' pain but I was so excited and happy!

It felt like an ETERNITY before they let me see Autumn because they had to get her cleaned up and checked out and get me put back together.  While they were putting my guts back in (haha) it felt like someone was holding my stomach and just lightly squeezing.  I got this feeling like I was going to be sick but all I could do was hiccup really hard and that ended up making me throw up a little.  Thankfully all I had eaten was jello.  Chris went over to see Autumn and he took some pictures for me.  I remember thinking "she's so cute!!"  They finally brought her over for me to see and I was almost speechless.  All I could say was "my baby...my baby" and all I wanted to do was touch her.  My movement was very limited since my arms were strapped down and the arm they released had all this crap hooked up to it.  But, I was able to stroke her cheeks and they brought her close enough for me to give her some kisses.  It was the most amazing moment of my life, to date.  I love her so much.

I wouldn't say that I'd never truly loved until that moment.  But, I will say I've never experienced a love like this.  It's intense, overwhelming and fierce.

22 Weeks

how far along? 22 Weeks and 6 Days

how are you measuring? right on track :)

size of baby? Papaya!

heartbeat? Still sitting at about 130-135
total weight gain/loss? + 15....at least

maternity clothes? Yup definitely in the maternity clothes 100%

stretch marks? Nope, not yet.  I've been using the Mama Bee Belly Butter almost religiously!  Plus it's a good way to get a belly rub from Chris ;)
sleep? Sleep is a distant memory.  Between the heat and leg cramps at night....forget about it.
best moment this week? Purchasing our baby furniture! 
movement? LOTS of movement now :)  You can see her kick from the outside sometimes now.
food cravings? Jalapenos and steak...all the time

gender predictions? It's a GIRL! 

what i miss: Not being fat
what i'm looking forward to: having our furniture delivered 
how are you feeling? Not so great this week, to be honest.  I'm just exhausted, at times emotionally irrational and having one of those weeks where I'm just so anxious to see and hold our little girl.  I know it will come soon enough, though.

20 Weeks

how far along? 20 Weeks and 6 Days

how are you measuring? right on track :)

size of baby? Banana

heartbeat? Still sitting at about 130-135
total weight gain/loss? + 14!

maternity clothes? Yup definitely in the maternity clothes.  My work jeans haven't come in yet so I'm just using a hairband to button my pants

stretch marks? Nope, not yet.  I've been using the Mama Bee Belly Butter almost religiously!  Plus it's a good way to get a belly rub from Chris ;)
sleep? Sleep is much better right now.  I have NO problem falling asleep around 9:00 or 10:00.  It's become a nightly routine where we put on a random t.v. show and I fall asleep laying in Chris' lap.  It's been a long time since I've gone to bed before falling asleep.
best moment this week? Finding out we're having a beautiful baby GIRL! 
movement? LOTS of movement now :)  I love it!
food cravings? Jalapenos and steak

gender predictions? It's a GIRL! 

what i miss: Not being fat
what i'm looking forward to: Buying nursery furniture this weekend 
how are you feeling? My usual sensor is gone for sure.  I have no patience for stupidity and rudeness and I don't hesitate to express that.  But otherwise, I'm feeling awesome :)

18 Weeks

how far along? 18 Weeks and 6 Days

how are you measuring? I'm really not sure what this question means

size of baby? Sweet potatah!

heartbeat? Still sitting at about 130-135
total weight gain/loss? + 11lbs!

maternity clothes? Yup definitely in the maternity clothes.  I'm very irritated that all I seem to find are maternity skinny jeans.  What the hell?!  I don't WANT to show my legs off because they're like freakin' sponges right now!

stretch marks? Nope, not yet but I'm starting to get big, quick, so I'm pretty sure they will be unavoidable towards the end.  Dumb.
sleep? Sleep is much better right now.  I have NO problem falling asleep around 9:00 or 10:00.  It's staying asleep past 4:00 that's a problem.
best moment this week? feeling the first real kicks!!  
movement? definitely getting some movement now :)  I love it.
food cravings? Jalapenos and apples

gender predictions? Still thinking positive girl thoughts! 

what i miss: Not having to worry about what is pregnancy safe and what isn't.  I also miss fitting into my clothes.
what i'm looking forward to: Finding out what we're having :)
how are you feeling? Pretty good.  Starting to get pretty regular back aches so that blows but otherwise I'm doin' alright!

16 Weeks

how far along? 16 Weeks and 6 Days

how are you measuring? I'm really not sure what this question means

size of baby? Avocado!

heartbeat? Still sitting at about 130-135
total weight gain/loss? + 10lbs!

maternity clothes? Yup definitely in the maternity clothes.  My work jeans haven't come in yet so I'm just using a hairband to button my pants

stretch marks? Nope, not yet.  I've been using the Mama Bee Belly Butter almost religiously!  Plus it's a good way to get a belly rub from Chris ;)
sleep? Sleep is much better right now.  I have NO problem falling asleep around 9:00 or 10:00.  It's become a nightly routine where we put on a random t.v. show and I fall asleep laying in Chris' lap.  It's been a long time since I've gone to bed before falling asleep.
best moment this week? Well there's two.  I finally got to feel a few little flutters from the baby and I get to make the appointment to find out what we're having!  I'm not saying when because we will not be revealing the sex to everyone until our parents have a chance to find out. 
movement? Got my first flutters this week :)  It was so light, I wasn't sure if it was real but it's definitely it!
food cravings? Jalapenos

gender predictions? Still thinking girl! 

what i miss: Not having to worry about what is pregnancy safe and what isn't.  I also miss fitting into my clothes.
what i'm looking forward to: Berlin for my birthday!
how are you feeling? My usual sensor is gone for sure.  I have no patience for stupidity and rudeness and I don't hesitate to express that.  But otherwise, I'm feeling awesome :)

14 Weeks

how far along? 14 Weeks and 4 Days

how are you measuring? umm, fat?

size of baby? About as big as a lemon right now

heartbeat? According to our doppler, last night was about 137-140bpm
total weight gain/loss? + 8lbs

maternity clothes? Yup definitely in the maternity clothes

stretch marks? Nope, not yet.  I've been using the Mama Bee Belly Butter almost religiously!  Plus it's a good way to get a belly rub from Chris ;)
sleep? Sleep is such a pain right now.  Just lots of second tri aches and pains
best moment this week? Chris and I went and purchased a couple of children's books this weekend.  
movement? I don't feel anything yet but hopefully will start feeling little flutters shortly.
food cravings? Jalapenos, oranges, pineapple and the pickles from Chilis

gender predictions? I really feel like it's a girl.  It's such an overwhelming feeling sometimes.  

what i miss: Going to pubs on the weekends.  There.  I said it.
what i'm looking forward to: my spa day coming up with my hunny :)
how are you feeling? Right now, awful.  I have an appointment in a couple weeks to be checked out to make sure it's really just "typical aches."  The other night I couldn't walk because of a very centralized stabbing pain almost in my butt, I think it's my lower back though.  It's there, constantly.  Just not usually crippling.  Mostly makes me walk funny.  I've had sciatic nerve pain many times and this is definitely not it.  I just really need some kind of relief.

13 Weeks

how far along? 13 Weeks and 4 Days

how are you measuring? 

size of baby? Baby is about the size of a peach :)

heartbeat? No clue right now.  Our doppler is definitely not accurate but whatever...I still get to hear my baby
total weight gain/loss? + 8lbs

maternity clothes? I'm wearing the maternity pants now because they're definitely more comfortable on my belly

stretch marks? Nope, not yet.  We finally got the Mama Bee Belly Butter in, thanks to my MIL!
sleep? Sleep is....okay
best moment this week? going to Saarbrucken with Dave and Margaret and we got to buy our first baby jumper.  
movement? I don't feel anything yet but hopefully will start feeling little flutters shortly.
food cravings? Jalapenos, oranges and the pickles from Chilis

gender predictions? I really feel like it's a girl.  It's such an overwhelming feeling sometimes.  

what i miss: Having energy to go to the gym every day
what i'm looking forward to: Actually having a bump instead of just looking fat.
how are you feeling? Easily frustrated....especially if I'm hot now